Hey good luck for your new job in Australia, have a nice trip...

Hey,
im only new to Dear Diary, its been a few yrs since i came on here last.

i was just reading over some of your old entrys and realised your come'ing to australia?

witch area will you be in?

_x.emilee.x_@live.com.au

wb

MuchlOvee. emz.

I've had dreams
where I would be
screaming someone's
name.
What freaked some people
out once was
hearing me moan
in the middle of the
night.
My best friend
heard me do that once
and thought that
I was having a s..x
dream.

One time,
I was laughing
in my dream
and also ended up
laughing in my sleep.
It was loudly,
and according to my mom
it sounded like a diabolical laugh.

†Broken Angel†

yay you will love australia! well...hopefully

i hope ur time here is great

Reading your entry reminds me of the situation i'd been through when my past relationship failed terribly..cant sleep, and even when I do, I was semi-conscious dreaming of him. Dreamt that he is with me but when I woke up, how disappointed I was, and every morning I just dont feel like waking up because when I do, i find it hard to breathe because its like there is a heavy stone on my chest and I cant breathe at all. Sometimes, I cant cry, but I really wanna cry so I relied on booze, fags, clubs, and musics to release those angers, frustrations, depressions and all sorts of negatives feelings inside my heart. The worse part was, I even attempted suicide because I thought I loved him too much. Took panadols, or even cut on my wrist..called him but he didnt want to pick up..feel like dying and no one WILL LIKE this feelings at all..

But..I promised I never want to see my self in that situation anymore because that was my worst and ugliest image and although love can be very sweet when you think back, but I have to know..ITS OVER. Those who have never been through the feelings of falling out of love keeps telling us.."forget it", "he doesnt worth it", "you will have better guys in future"..and what we did was listen to right ears and goes out to left.

And because I'd been exactly the position you are now where reading them automatically brings me back to the past..I understand you.

But, I am out of the circle now! Its just the matter of TIME, and trust me, time heals..whether its 3 months, 6 months or a year...time will heals. Keep him inside your heart, throw all your feelings in your true friends or diaries..believe that, the ultimate rule in loving someone is not by occupying him, but when he is happy, you will be happy for him too even if the girl next to him is not you. And, its all God's arrangement. You and Kev are fated to meet each other out of 2 billions people in the world outside, but are not fated to be together. I used to question Him, WHY? Why when we are not fated to be together but you want us to meet and fall?

There were too many unanswered questions playing in my mind at that time whether its from my ex-bf or Him..but soon, I realised that..he was just simply a passer by in my life story book and eventually stopped and scribbled some stories and then he walked on..

And as he moves on...WE have to move on too instead of stopping and making life miserable...and yes, it takes a lot of strengths for him to leave you too because he used to love you too. ..and if you are fated with him, you and him will meet somewhere again..Its not easy to do all that I know..it takes timeee...

I am not sure if this helpsss..but if you need someone to talk..you can email me..;)

I dont know you well, but I hope you are alright soon!

Cheers.

[avysa]

Thank you for your article. Its a meaningful piece and relates so much to my situation..;) hope fully days will be better for you.

cheers

Avysa

[avysa]

Dear girl,

We all been through this situation and my attention was captured by your phrase.."It gives me strength to know that it requires a lot of strength on his part to leave me". I bet at this moment, its the hardest time not only for you but him as well. He is not a good boyfriend for long run, and when you have made the decision..stick to it..because, the future wil be brighter than now..all you need is strength and determination..and that is what I am doing now too.

I understand how you feel. He is not good, he is not right but its the sad truth that you cant force yourself to let go Kev because whatever you and Kev had is not built in a day. I totally can relate to it and hope you feel better when days come..

cheer up babe!

girl83